Losing Me

I'm losing myself. I can feel it in every nerve of my body and somewhere along the road I just faded into the background of life's tapestry.

I don't know how I got here. I mean, I know the path that I traveled but I didn't see it happening.

It's like when you're running and are looking down at your feet to make sure you don't stumble but you forgot to look up every once in a while to make sure you were still on the right road. And after some time realize you've been running for so long and that you are physically, mentally, and emotionally exhausted.

Then the realization that you forgot to check your surroundings settles in and you are lost. It happened somewhere along the journey somewhere within the hollows, you passed through the caverns of despair and your shadows were stripped from you. The shadows of your past victories, joy, hope, and peace were peeled away because your focus was on your next step; survival in the moment. Your greater well-being was abandoned so you could survive the next step. When you finally check your location, your mental check-in, you discover you are now hidden from those you thought cared about you.

You ran so far off course from where you need to be, from who you truly are. Panic sets in and fear that no one will come to search for you eats away at your consciousness. Survival mode screams in your ear, JUST KEEP RUNNING! So you disappear deeper into the forest in hopes to find your own way out to the other side.

The shadows begin to swallow you up and somehow you find comfort in being amongst the forgotten and abandoned things because it's now familiar.

As the tears fill your eyes you realize there are three choices you have. Put your head down, look at your feet and run again. Stay put, sit all alone within the foresty, and vanish for good. Or turn around, go back to zero and realign yourself to get back on the right path and find yourself again.